The Gresham Family

ACROSS
1) Location of Intel’s CS Excellence Awards, where Melissa received an award with her team.
Half Moon Bay, California... this was probably the first time in about 7 years that Doug and I had more than 8 hours alone together, no kids. We didn't know what the heck to talk about.

4) The club to which Kyle belongs and insists is NOT called A/V club
Sound Crew... Kyle is extremely pleased with himself that he has been chosen for this golden opportunity and even took a dramatic bow at the 3rd grade music performance.

7) The "health experience" Melissa & Doug tried for a month during which Doug only ate jerky and nuts because he refused to eat veggies
The Whole Thirty. I did not lose weight or change my habits except for 2: I drink black coffee and gave up soda. So maybe worth it.

8) The name Melissa gave to her new hybrid car
Monique. She is very sultry.

11) Arizona baseball team the Greshams visited in June
Diamondbacks. Kyle and Ryan and I joined Uncle Matt for a great game. Kyle later went to a game with just Uncle Matt at which that tricky uncle proceeded to play pranks on him and tease him with the "cup on the head" trick.

14) Number of red flags waving while we joined friends and hopped on Gulf waves in Panama City Beach, Florida
One. Two flags means it's illegal to go in the water and One flag means dangerous undertows. But the boys had spent a few days not being allowed in a warm ocean and they weren't about to be deterred. Both Kyle and Ryan loved jumping the waves, but did not love the chafing.

15) The town in which the Gresham family spent 4th of July with friends… and about a million hippies
Yachats. If you ever want to go to an awesome town for 4th of July, Yachats should be top of your list. We spent the weekend with the Well family and enjoyed the fireworks as well as a super cool Parks office. Very educational. Also, I couldn't believe that 2 little girls would want to just color for hours on end without any kind of ripping, throwing, inappropriate drawings, etc. Girls are so different.

16) Animals at a sanctuary visited during sabbatical. They are incredibly adorable… in theory
Sloths. They are cute. They are slow. They are kind of disgusting. When the keeper showed us where they had "marked the walls with their musk" I wanted to throw up. And feeding an extremely slow animal for 45 minutes gets old after about 10. Glad we did it... once.

17) Ryan's little league baseball team that Doug coached and for which his mother kept detailed spreadsheets. Alas, the spreadsheet was not elegant enough to track number of trips to the Port-a-Potties during an inning.
White Sox. At one point, Ryan ran from short stop to first base to make a play because the first base player was doing yoga. It was a really fun team to watch.

19) The Disney resort at which our family nearly had a mental breakdown after 7 full days of “memories” at Disney, Orlando
Animal Kingdom. The whole Disney experience was awesome and we really maxed out our time there. If any of you ever want a download on tips and tricks to make your adventure fun at Disney, please let me know - I performed a post mortem upon our return.

21) Ryan's favorite sport, in which he really kicked it up a notch this year
Soccer. I know you wish it were curling, but he gets cold easily and doesn't like to sweep, so it's soccer. When he could focus, Ryan was O-N on. When he was not focused, the coach had to yell "Ryan, focus and get in your spot!" about a million times.

22) The number of teeth Kona had surgically removed this year
Fourteen. The poor girl needs doggie dentures. She seems to make it work, though. She slurps up her Iams mini chunks like nothing ever happened. I'll tell ya - pound dogs are a hearty breed! Besides the rotting teeth, spaying, and anal tumor, she's a really healthy dog.

23) The color we painted our house: gone is the yellow
Blue. It took me a minute to like the color, but I love it now.

24) Number of wineries Melissa and her dad visited during a Willamette Valley wine tasting adventure
Five. In order of enjoyment: Trisaeteum, Colene Clemens, Patricia Green, North Valley Vineyards, and Winderlea. Usually groups go to 3, maybe 4, vineyards. But Dad would take a sip of each wine, swish it around, say either "I'd buy it" or "I don't like it", and then move to the next wine. It was an efficient wine tasting experience!

25) What Melissa did on the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit roller coaster at Universal Studios, Orlando
Cried. There is a video but I didn't buy it. I believe I was saying such things as "I'm so sorry I killed you, Kyle. I will love you for eternity. I'm sorry Mommy made you go on this death trap." Luckily, there was music blaring and he didn't hear.

DOWN
2) The peak on which we spent Christmas last year with Uncle Matt. At one point I thought Bend mountain rescue was going to need to save us from exhaustion and we were just on the bunny slope.
Mount Bachelor. When we were exhausted just walking from the parking lot to the ticket window, I knew we were in trouble. Kyle had the issue that he was so tentative that he couldn't get enough speed to go over slight inclines. Ryan had the issue that he was so brazen that he didn't slow down for anything. It made for a logistically frustrating day.

3) A word to describe the canyon we visited on the National Park Service’s 100th anniversary. We even saw Senator John McCain walking through the visitor center. I didn’t say hello. I was too busy screaming at Ryan to stop climbing things.
Grand. Duh. We rode the train up from Williams Arizona to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. On the ride back, while listening to a Sam Elliott-esque guitar player/singer croon out some oldies, Ryan ate a banana. Said guitar player referred to Ryan as "Banana Man" from then on. The train then gets "robbed" by old west train robbers. Uncle Matt and I convinced Ryan that there had been a prison break and that this was real. Ryan announced to the train car "I feel sick" and while everyone else laughed, a keen-eyed mom knew that this wasn't going to be pretty. I ferried him down to the bathroom, but he only made it to the snack car, which was thankfully empty. He threw up on the linoleum floor and into a recycle bin. While I was on all fours, mopping up the last of the thrown up banana off of the floor, Sam Elliott walked through and without hesitation, and in a deep and resonant drawl said... "Looks like you're recycling your lunch, Banana Man." Then he passed through the car, never to be seen again.

5 The number of horseback rides taken at Wilson Ranches Retreat in Fossil, Oregon. Also the number of pain relievers needed per ride
Five. At one point I told the boys that they needed to apply some Icy Hot stick to the part of my back that was sore. When they asked, "What part of you is sore?" I had to admit: all of me. But, they loved it. Ryan was so pleased that his horse wouldn't go down onto a path because Rocky knew Ryan was nervous about it. "Rocky can read my mind!" We saw antelope and deer, a Great Horned Owl, a Golden Eagle and maybe even a cougar on that trip. If you want a fun experience, go to the Painted Hills of Oregon and stay at Wilson Ranches Retreat in Fossil.

6) Kyle's little league baseball team in which his mother kept detailed spreadsheets. When a member of the team moved mid-season, Melissa almost cried due to the spreadsheet difficulties it would cause.
Red Sox. The only time that the whole team showed up for a game was half of one game. Regardless of the hiccups, this team was so fun! Thanks Coach Dan!

8) Seattle baseball team that the Greshams visited in May
Mariners. It happened to be on the weekend of Ryan's birthday, so we had a "trunk party" for Ryan's b-day, which is a party held out of the trunk of one's car while you wait for traffic to clear after the game. Thanks for meeting up for the game and party, Syversons!

9) During sabbatical, Melissa applied for, interviewed for and accepted a position in _________ EHS as the _________ air program owner
Corporate. I'm so corporate these days. I am at the same desk and work with most of the same people, but my scope is more focused on the whole company air compliance programs as compared to the research and development air compliance support I provided for the past 10 years.

10) Magazine in which Kyle claims to be a published author. He submitted a joke and it was published: "Who is guaranteed to be hired and fired on the same day? A human cannonball."
Boy's Life. Kyle is not even a boy scout, but he really wanted to be published.

12) This is nothing to growl about: A drive-through animal reserve in the 48th state.
Bearizona. They boys took about a million pictures of animals peeing. That was their favorite part.

13) Kyle's first and perhaps last time competing in the water was at a ________
Swim meet. Maybe we'll do this again sometime, but Kyle didn't like that there wasn't much time to "chat" with the other members of his swim team because "there was just so much swimming."

18) What Doug tried to grow but discovered was too difficult
Beard. Not a man bun. It turns out that Doug's dimples do not grow hair and so his had a strange donut shaped beard pattern on his cheeks that just wasn't filling in fast enough to not make fun of.

20) Number of games cancelled during Kyle's Triple A Fall baseball season due to Oregon rain. Curse you, climate change!
Nine. During what was called the wettest Portland October in history, half of Kyle's season was cancelled, and yet he learned a tremendous amount and developed a love of baseball that will stay with him his whole life!

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Soccer!!

Before soccer, the boys also participated in the Dragon Dash at school, aka an excuse to "fundraise" for Findley.

Ryan's team name is the blue booming fireballs. Hey, whatever works. But as the coach, I wish we could just be called "blue team" because shouting "Go blue booming fireballs!" does not roll off the tongue.

He has so much fun when he plays soccer.

Kyle loves to be goal keeper, but these photos crack me up. Check out that aggressive form. Hands and feet in defensive pose with eyes closed! Mostly he enjoys not having to run as much and the opportunity to wear a snazzy shirt.

Whoops, where's that ball?

I call this stance the starfish.

OK, finally looking like a goal keeper.

The rest of the team doesn't have quite the enthusiasm as Kyle does.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Disney Wonder Day 6: Ketchikan Alaska

My favorite excursion: a trip on the Aleutian Ballad (Deadliest Catch) boat. Ryan said it best: "This is the most awesomest ship in the world... except for the Disney Wonder."

Ryan also referred to the one guy as "Captain No Hair Boy"

Gift shop time. The boys did not go home with these hats... or the $50 stuffed orca they so desperately "needed."

Ketchikan: population 8,050... except when cruise ships dock and it jumps to 8050 normal people and 24000 wackados.

Ryan with a rat fish, the possible evolutionary link between sharks and bony fish as they contain both cartilage and bones. They also look like robots.

I'm sure that members of the deadliest catch boats also play thumb wars during down times...

...and try to get in the pictures. Photo bomb!

During the coolest excursion ever, the fishermen laid and pulled long lines and crab pots of many kinds. It was a great excursion!

Rat Fish, aka chimaera, aka ghost shark, aka spookfish, aka rabbitfishes, aka robot creepy fish.

Uncle Matt is just as fascinating as a crab or ratfish.

Throwing the hook... and yes, Ryan insisted on wearing shorts OVER his excursion pants as a statement. I am boy: Must wear shorts at all times.

A more refined hook throwing stance.

Thumb wars can happen at any age.

Spot Prawn: $17 to $20/lb. Quiz: what is the difference between shrimp and prawns (besides taste)? Answer: google it because I forget.

A picture of an eagle snagging a fish (thrown by the captain) from the Alaska waters...

OK. So I didn't take that photo of the eagle because this lady got in my way, but she probably has a great photo much like the one above.

Crab Grab.

Why would I want to get a photo of the famous TV captain being silly with my son? Perfect mom moment... my star of this photo is not Captain Derrick Ray... to be fair, his mom would probably cut out Kyle.

Perfectly typical of my boys. Kyle jumps in head first grabbing a crab and Ryan watches to ensure no one gets pinched and then jumps in with gusto.

Double crabs.

Even moms can grab crab.

Get in my belly! These are the smaller kinds of snow crab.

The larger king crab, caught by the crew.

They're alive! And trying to escape.

What you don't see is me almost booty bumping a big lady off of the boat who grabbed this shrimp out of my cherubic little sweetheart's hands. Instead I gave her a very stern look and told Kyle to pretend to cry (which he didn't). I'm sure she got the point.

He would never eat this prawn... not because of humanitarian reasons but because shrimp are not hot dogs, mac n cheese, or pizza.

Spin it. No one lost a finger on this trip.

King crab. Not a bad summer job for this young lady.

The nemesis of the fishermen... the giant pacific octopus. They can crawl into the crab pots and have a smorgasbord in there. Cool facts: they can slide through 2inch holes, they have 3 hearts, they can regenerate arms, and they can camouflage.

Back to the mother ship...

Disney Wonder Day 5: Juneau Alaska

Juneau the capital of Alaska? Juneau how many times I can hear that joke from a 6 and 8 year old?

I believe every true Alaskan resident is required to have something stuffed as a piece of artwork.

Float plane time! The only time I felt sea sick was on this plane as it buffeted along over Taku inlet. I was hoping no one would shout, "Thar she blows" because I was pretty sure they would be referring to me.

Awww, sweet brothers waiting for the float plane. What I didn't capture on film was them trying to kick each other in the boy parts.

With captain Dan. Nice guy. Didn't say much. I think he was doing the same thing my dad was doing during this float plane tour: counting the $'s.

Uncle Matt quick to grab Ryan if he bolted into the cockpit.

Ryan was jazzed about the headphones!

Nana and the lady behind her were also really jazzed about the headphones! The look of horror and disillusionment is too much.

He kept talking into the tail of his seat belt and saying "Breaker, Breaker. Come in." Expensive trip for him to be pretending to be a pilot, but he loved it!

Kyle just kept pointing to things and telling me in an intense voice, "MOM. LOOK!" I have no idea what he was pointing at half the time.

Taku or Norris or North Glacier? I don't know, there were a lot of glaciers. I'm going to refer to them all as the Taku glacier just to make it easy.

The deep blue of the ice from the glacier comes from the lack of air or water bubbles and the absorption of light spectrums except blue.

The top of Taku glacier. Less smooth than I had anticipated.

Taku (or some other) glacier.

He's just missing the dogs and the snow.

Due to the glaciers scraping the land down to the rock, there is very little top soil in these areas and tree roots stay closer to the top for water and nutrients.

You know how everything is bigger in Texas... not the lichen.

Black bear at camp eating the salmon drippings. I guess this girl's name is Lois. She likes dusty salmon drippings and long walks on the glacier.

She's not cuddling, she just feels like she is still rocking back and forth on the boat.

Sometimes waterfall is sometimes beautiful.

It rained the whole time we were at Taku Lodge, but that didn't bother us Oregonians. Rain is liquid sunshine.

Kyle has gotten into cribbage lately, so now I'm going to have to go hunt a whale or moose or whatever this bone came from and Martha Stewart my own cribbage set. Thank you Taku Lodge.