Answers to Gresham Family Holiday Letter 2016
ACROSS
1) Location of Intel’s CS Excellence Awards, where Melissa received an award with her team.
Half Moon Bay, California... this was probably the first time in about 7 years that Doug and I had more than 8 hours alone together, no kids. We didn't know what the heck to talk about.
4) The club to which Kyle belongs and insists is NOT called A/V club
Sound Crew... Kyle is extremely pleased with himself that he has been chosen for this golden opportunity and even took a dramatic bow at the 3rd grade music performance.
7) The "health experience" Melissa & Doug tried for a month during which Doug only ate jerky and nuts because he refused to eat veggies
The Whole Thirty. I did not lose weight or change my habits except for 2: I drink black coffee and gave up soda. So maybe worth it.
8) The name Melissa gave to her new hybrid car
Monique. She is very sultry.
11) Arizona baseball team the Greshams visited in June
Diamondbacks. Kyle and Ryan and I joined Uncle Matt for a great game. Kyle later went to a game with just Uncle Matt at which that tricky uncle proceeded to play pranks on him and tease him with the "cup on the head" trick.
14) Number of red flags waving while we joined friends and hopped on Gulf waves in Panama City Beach, Florida
One. Two flags means it's illegal to go in the water and One flag means dangerous undertows. But the boys had spent a few days not being allowed in a warm ocean and they weren't about to be deterred. Both Kyle and Ryan loved jumping the waves, but did not love the chafing.
15) The town in which the Gresham family spent 4th of July with friends… and about a million hippies
Yachats. If you ever want to go to an awesome town for 4th of July, Yachats should be top of your list. We spent the weekend with the Well family and enjoyed the fireworks as well as a super cool Parks office. Very educational. Also, I couldn't believe that 2 little girls would want to just color for hours on end without any kind of ripping, throwing, inappropriate drawings, etc. Girls are so different.
16) Animals at a sanctuary visited during sabbatical. They are incredibly adorable… in theory
Sloths. They are cute. They are slow. They are kind of disgusting. When the keeper showed us where they had "marked the walls with their musk" I wanted to throw up. And feeding an extremely slow animal for 45 minutes gets old after about 10. Glad we did it... once.
17) Ryan's little league baseball team that Doug coached and for which his mother kept detailed spreadsheets. Alas, the spreadsheet was not elegant enough to track number of trips to the Port-a-Potties during an inning.
White Sox. At one point, Ryan ran from short stop to first base to make a play because the first base player was doing yoga. It was a really fun team to watch.
19) The Disney resort at which our family nearly had a mental breakdown after 7 full days of “memories” at Disney, Orlando
Animal Kingdom. The whole Disney experience was awesome and we really maxed out our time there. If any of you ever want a download on tips and tricks to make your adventure fun at Disney, please let me know - I performed a post mortem upon our return.
21) Ryan's favorite sport, in which he really kicked it up a notch this year
Soccer. I know you wish it were curling, but he gets cold easily and doesn't like to sweep, so it's soccer. When he could focus, Ryan was O-N on. When he was not focused, the coach had to yell "Ryan, focus and get in your spot!" about a million times.
22) The number of teeth Kona had surgically removed this year
Fourteen. The poor girl needs doggie dentures. She seems to make it work, though. She slurps up her Iams mini chunks like nothing ever happened. I'll tell ya - pound dogs are a hearty breed! Besides the rotting teeth, spaying, and anal tumor, she's a really healthy dog.
23) The color we painted our house: gone is the yellow
Blue. It took me a minute to like the color, but I love it now.
24) Number of wineries Melissa and her dad visited during a Willamette Valley wine tasting adventure
Five. In order of enjoyment: Trisaeteum, Colene Clemens, Patricia Green, North Valley Vineyards, and Winderlea. Usually groups go to 3, maybe 4, vineyards. But Dad would take a sip of each wine, swish it around, say either "I'd buy it" or "I don't like it", and then move to the next wine. It was an efficient wine tasting experience!
25) What Melissa did on the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit roller coaster at Universal Studios, Orlando
Cried. There is a video but I didn't buy it. I believe I was saying such things as "I'm so sorry I killed you, Kyle. I will love you for eternity. I'm sorry Mommy made you go on this death trap." Luckily, there was music blaring and he didn't hear.
DOWN
2) The peak on which we spent Christmas last year with Uncle Matt. At one point I thought Bend mountain rescue was going to need to save us from exhaustion and we were just on the bunny slope.
Mount Bachelor. When we were exhausted just walking from the parking lot to the ticket window, I knew we were in trouble. Kyle had the issue that he was so tentative that he couldn't get enough speed to go over slight inclines. Ryan had the issue that he was so brazen that he didn't slow down for anything. It made for a logistically frustrating day.
3) A word to describe the canyon we visited on the National Park Service’s 100th anniversary. We even saw Senator John McCain walking through the visitor center. I didn’t say hello. I was too busy screaming at Ryan to stop climbing things.
Grand. Duh. We rode the train up from Williams Arizona to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. On the ride back, while listening to a Sam Elliott-esque guitar player/singer croon out some oldies, Ryan ate a banana. Said guitar player referred to Ryan as "Banana Man" from then on. The train then gets "robbed" by old west train robbers. Uncle Matt and I convinced Ryan that there had been a prison break and that this was real. Ryan announced to the train car "I feel sick" and while everyone else laughed, a keen-eyed mom knew that this wasn't going to be pretty. I ferried him down to the bathroom, but he only made it to the snack car, which was thankfully empty. He threw up on the linoleum floor and into a recycle bin. While I was on all fours, mopping up the last of the thrown up banana off of the floor, Sam Elliott walked through and without hesitation, and in a deep and resonant drawl said... "Looks like you're recycling your lunch, Banana Man." Then he passed through the car, never to be seen again.
5 The number of horseback rides taken at Wilson Ranches Retreat in Fossil, Oregon. Also the number of pain relievers needed per ride
Five. At one point I told the boys that they needed to apply some Icy Hot stick to the part of my back that was sore. When they asked, "What part of you is sore?" I had to admit: all of me. But, they loved it. Ryan was so pleased that his horse wouldn't go down onto a path because Rocky knew Ryan was nervous about it. "Rocky can read my mind!" We saw antelope and deer, a Great Horned Owl, a Golden Eagle and maybe even a cougar on that trip. If you want a fun experience, go to the Painted Hills of Oregon and stay at Wilson Ranches Retreat in Fossil.
6) Kyle's little league baseball team in which his mother kept detailed spreadsheets. When a member of the team moved mid-season, Melissa almost cried due to the spreadsheet difficulties it would cause.
Red Sox. The only time that the whole team showed up for a game was half of one game. Regardless of the hiccups, this team was so fun! Thanks Coach Dan!
8) Seattle baseball team that the Greshams visited in May
Mariners. It happened to be on the weekend of Ryan's birthday, so we had a "trunk party" for Ryan's b-day, which is a party held out of the trunk of one's car while you wait for traffic to clear after the game. Thanks for meeting up for the game and party, Syversons!
9) During sabbatical, Melissa applied for, interviewed for and accepted a position in _________ EHS as the _________ air program owner
Corporate. I'm so corporate these days. I am at the same desk and work with most of the same people, but my scope is more focused on the whole company air compliance programs as compared to the research and development air compliance support I provided for the past 10 years.
10) Magazine in which Kyle claims to be a published author. He submitted a joke and it was published: "Who is guaranteed to be hired and fired on the same day? A human cannonball."
Boy's Life. Kyle is not even a boy scout, but he really wanted to be published.
12) This is nothing to growl about: A drive-through animal reserve in the 48th state.
Bearizona. They boys took about a million pictures of animals peeing. That was their favorite part.
13) Kyle's first and perhaps last time competing in the water was at a ________
Swim meet. Maybe we'll do this again sometime, but Kyle didn't like that there wasn't much time to "chat" with the other members of his swim team because "there was just so much swimming."
18) What Doug tried to grow but discovered was too difficult
Beard. Not a man bun. It turns out that Doug's dimples do not grow hair and so his had a strange donut shaped beard pattern on his cheeks that just wasn't filling in fast enough to not make fun of.
20) Number of games cancelled during Kyle's Triple A Fall baseball season due to Oregon rain. Curse you, climate change!
Nine. During what was called the wettest Portland October in history, half of Kyle's season was cancelled, and yet he learned a tremendous amount and developed a love of baseball that will stay with him his whole life!
1) Location of Intel’s CS Excellence Awards, where Melissa received an award with her team.
Half Moon Bay, California... this was probably the first time in about 7 years that Doug and I had more than 8 hours alone together, no kids. We didn't know what the heck to talk about.
4) The club to which Kyle belongs and insists is NOT called A/V club
Sound Crew... Kyle is extremely pleased with himself that he has been chosen for this golden opportunity and even took a dramatic bow at the 3rd grade music performance.
7) The "health experience" Melissa & Doug tried for a month during which Doug only ate jerky and nuts because he refused to eat veggies
The Whole Thirty. I did not lose weight or change my habits except for 2: I drink black coffee and gave up soda. So maybe worth it.
8) The name Melissa gave to her new hybrid car
Monique. She is very sultry.
11) Arizona baseball team the Greshams visited in June
Diamondbacks. Kyle and Ryan and I joined Uncle Matt for a great game. Kyle later went to a game with just Uncle Matt at which that tricky uncle proceeded to play pranks on him and tease him with the "cup on the head" trick.
14) Number of red flags waving while we joined friends and hopped on Gulf waves in Panama City Beach, Florida
One. Two flags means it's illegal to go in the water and One flag means dangerous undertows. But the boys had spent a few days not being allowed in a warm ocean and they weren't about to be deterred. Both Kyle and Ryan loved jumping the waves, but did not love the chafing.
15) The town in which the Gresham family spent 4th of July with friends… and about a million hippies
Yachats. If you ever want to go to an awesome town for 4th of July, Yachats should be top of your list. We spent the weekend with the Well family and enjoyed the fireworks as well as a super cool Parks office. Very educational. Also, I couldn't believe that 2 little girls would want to just color for hours on end without any kind of ripping, throwing, inappropriate drawings, etc. Girls are so different.
16) Animals at a sanctuary visited during sabbatical. They are incredibly adorable… in theory
Sloths. They are cute. They are slow. They are kind of disgusting. When the keeper showed us where they had "marked the walls with their musk" I wanted to throw up. And feeding an extremely slow animal for 45 minutes gets old after about 10. Glad we did it... once.
17) Ryan's little league baseball team that Doug coached and for which his mother kept detailed spreadsheets. Alas, the spreadsheet was not elegant enough to track number of trips to the Port-a-Potties during an inning.
White Sox. At one point, Ryan ran from short stop to first base to make a play because the first base player was doing yoga. It was a really fun team to watch.
19) The Disney resort at which our family nearly had a mental breakdown after 7 full days of “memories” at Disney, Orlando
Animal Kingdom. The whole Disney experience was awesome and we really maxed out our time there. If any of you ever want a download on tips and tricks to make your adventure fun at Disney, please let me know - I performed a post mortem upon our return.
21) Ryan's favorite sport, in which he really kicked it up a notch this year
Soccer. I know you wish it were curling, but he gets cold easily and doesn't like to sweep, so it's soccer. When he could focus, Ryan was O-N on. When he was not focused, the coach had to yell "Ryan, focus and get in your spot!" about a million times.
22) The number of teeth Kona had surgically removed this year
Fourteen. The poor girl needs doggie dentures. She seems to make it work, though. She slurps up her Iams mini chunks like nothing ever happened. I'll tell ya - pound dogs are a hearty breed! Besides the rotting teeth, spaying, and anal tumor, she's a really healthy dog.
23) The color we painted our house: gone is the yellow
Blue. It took me a minute to like the color, but I love it now.
24) Number of wineries Melissa and her dad visited during a Willamette Valley wine tasting adventure
Five. In order of enjoyment: Trisaeteum, Colene Clemens, Patricia Green, North Valley Vineyards, and Winderlea. Usually groups go to 3, maybe 4, vineyards. But Dad would take a sip of each wine, swish it around, say either "I'd buy it" or "I don't like it", and then move to the next wine. It was an efficient wine tasting experience!
25) What Melissa did on the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit roller coaster at Universal Studios, Orlando
Cried. There is a video but I didn't buy it. I believe I was saying such things as "I'm so sorry I killed you, Kyle. I will love you for eternity. I'm sorry Mommy made you go on this death trap." Luckily, there was music blaring and he didn't hear.
DOWN
2) The peak on which we spent Christmas last year with Uncle Matt. At one point I thought Bend mountain rescue was going to need to save us from exhaustion and we were just on the bunny slope.
Mount Bachelor. When we were exhausted just walking from the parking lot to the ticket window, I knew we were in trouble. Kyle had the issue that he was so tentative that he couldn't get enough speed to go over slight inclines. Ryan had the issue that he was so brazen that he didn't slow down for anything. It made for a logistically frustrating day.
3) A word to describe the canyon we visited on the National Park Service’s 100th anniversary. We even saw Senator John McCain walking through the visitor center. I didn’t say hello. I was too busy screaming at Ryan to stop climbing things.
Grand. Duh. We rode the train up from Williams Arizona to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. On the ride back, while listening to a Sam Elliott-esque guitar player/singer croon out some oldies, Ryan ate a banana. Said guitar player referred to Ryan as "Banana Man" from then on. The train then gets "robbed" by old west train robbers. Uncle Matt and I convinced Ryan that there had been a prison break and that this was real. Ryan announced to the train car "I feel sick" and while everyone else laughed, a keen-eyed mom knew that this wasn't going to be pretty. I ferried him down to the bathroom, but he only made it to the snack car, which was thankfully empty. He threw up on the linoleum floor and into a recycle bin. While I was on all fours, mopping up the last of the thrown up banana off of the floor, Sam Elliott walked through and without hesitation, and in a deep and resonant drawl said... "Looks like you're recycling your lunch, Banana Man." Then he passed through the car, never to be seen again.
5 The number of horseback rides taken at Wilson Ranches Retreat in Fossil, Oregon. Also the number of pain relievers needed per ride
Five. At one point I told the boys that they needed to apply some Icy Hot stick to the part of my back that was sore. When they asked, "What part of you is sore?" I had to admit: all of me. But, they loved it. Ryan was so pleased that his horse wouldn't go down onto a path because Rocky knew Ryan was nervous about it. "Rocky can read my mind!" We saw antelope and deer, a Great Horned Owl, a Golden Eagle and maybe even a cougar on that trip. If you want a fun experience, go to the Painted Hills of Oregon and stay at Wilson Ranches Retreat in Fossil.
6) Kyle's little league baseball team in which his mother kept detailed spreadsheets. When a member of the team moved mid-season, Melissa almost cried due to the spreadsheet difficulties it would cause.
Red Sox. The only time that the whole team showed up for a game was half of one game. Regardless of the hiccups, this team was so fun! Thanks Coach Dan!
8) Seattle baseball team that the Greshams visited in May
Mariners. It happened to be on the weekend of Ryan's birthday, so we had a "trunk party" for Ryan's b-day, which is a party held out of the trunk of one's car while you wait for traffic to clear after the game. Thanks for meeting up for the game and party, Syversons!
9) During sabbatical, Melissa applied for, interviewed for and accepted a position in _________ EHS as the _________ air program owner
Corporate. I'm so corporate these days. I am at the same desk and work with most of the same people, but my scope is more focused on the whole company air compliance programs as compared to the research and development air compliance support I provided for the past 10 years.
10) Magazine in which Kyle claims to be a published author. He submitted a joke and it was published: "Who is guaranteed to be hired and fired on the same day? A human cannonball."
Boy's Life. Kyle is not even a boy scout, but he really wanted to be published.
12) This is nothing to growl about: A drive-through animal reserve in the 48th state.
Bearizona. They boys took about a million pictures of animals peeing. That was their favorite part.
13) Kyle's first and perhaps last time competing in the water was at a ________
Swim meet. Maybe we'll do this again sometime, but Kyle didn't like that there wasn't much time to "chat" with the other members of his swim team because "there was just so much swimming."
18) What Doug tried to grow but discovered was too difficult
Beard. Not a man bun. It turns out that Doug's dimples do not grow hair and so his had a strange donut shaped beard pattern on his cheeks that just wasn't filling in fast enough to not make fun of.
20) Number of games cancelled during Kyle's Triple A Fall baseball season due to Oregon rain. Curse you, climate change!
Nine. During what was called the wettest Portland October in history, half of Kyle's season was cancelled, and yet he learned a tremendous amount and developed a love of baseball that will stay with him his whole life!
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